God speaks to me through songs. He uses songs that I like to communicate His feelings towards me. During the week, we were planning what songs to prepare for our jamming session and Elissa suggested one of her favourites. My heart, by Paramore. (see video below.)
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
The song is like a prayer. The prayer starts off with a confession, a request from a repentant heart that realises the futility of trying to live right or do good without God. This is where I've been so many times, living as if I have got it all under control. That is, until I start messing up.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
This is the line that I truly identify with. I often long to hear from God. I often ask God to speak to me but I'm usually listening out only for what I want to hear. This time, Hayley Williams, the lead singer of Paramore, listens before making the request again. It amazes me how honest these lyrics are. I could do things on my own, but it would be meaningless without including God.
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
This is the part that gets to me. I've heard this song many times before. I've seen Hayley singing her heart out in that song. Pointing to God when she sings. It is intense. It is passionate.
But in the last week, when I was listening to the arrangement, God just whispered to me. "You asked for my song? This IS my song to you."
And God started singing this to me over the singing of Hayley and the screaming of Josh Farro. I could see Jesus beating His chest with one fist as He sang.
"This heart? It beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours!
These hands, were pierced, pierced for only you. My blood is yours!
My Blood was shed, shed for only you. My Life is yours!"
And the intensity that God was screaming it brought me to tears even as I was walking home from the MRT. And I began to understand what Psalms 40:3 means.
Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
It is only when we understand what God's heart is for us, that we are able to sing a new song of praise back to Him. The consequence is that many will see and fear (be in awe of) and put their trust in the Lord.
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